Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
