haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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