Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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