Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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