I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
