He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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