good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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