Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
