I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
