It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
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