How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
