Already got asked if we're dating
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
