one two three fourrrrnication!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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