when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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