I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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