arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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