i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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