i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
