Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
