So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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