i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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