So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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