Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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