remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
