It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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