I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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