Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
