marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
