I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
