Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
