Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
