Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
