Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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