I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
