What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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