Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
