yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
