She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize