Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
