You're so nebulous sometimes
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
