Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
