super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
My feet surprised me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
