Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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