it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
only you would photoshop your dick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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