He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
