My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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