I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
