It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
