needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
