i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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