he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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