You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
