Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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