Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize