i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
