everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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