Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
