well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
